I lost a Friend today

It was the dawn of confusions in my life and as anyone else would, I was enjoying myself to the hilt. 18 they say is the time in one's life when we trust our instincts the most. It was no different for me. I had barely passed a complete year away from my parents and the distance suddenly seemed to grow further with unknown problems surfacing my world of calm waters but just until then. Until I met my new friend. A friend which slowly but surely cast its magic spell and turned my world around.

Just like any other story, our's took off with a note of uncertainty in it. Rejections and acceptance were the least of our concerns. But yes parents still had so much to say in what we do and whats good or bad for us. Well now when I look back, it is more their son that they were bothered about and not me. Dont get me wrong, I dont blame them for their attitude, either. Well I dont intend to get into that debate now. If not for anything else then may be because I have so much to share today.

Well then, initially I tried to keep my new friend only to myself. We used to come across each other quite often but only when I wanted. You can say it was my discretion when to meet him and when to not. But as time rolled by and problems started looking larger than usual. I started seeking solace in my friend's presence and more often than not, it did not let me down. This added to the trust which started growing manifolds of late. It was not the lot which was with me eversince I understood air, water and dust but my new found friend who lifted me up, as and when I needed him to.

And as you might have guessed it by now this new friend one day turned out to be my comrade, my confidante. Over the past 6 years of our acquaintance I have changed his names 3 times, precisely. ^When I started off I didnt ask much from him and was content with whatever he could provide me with. But whenever I realised he was getting into a comfort zone, I changed his name. This would also mean that I was giving him more time than anyone else would under normal circumstances. More attention, more appreciation and spending more money on him. Well frankly speaking, I know there was nothing wrong with his first name. But just to prove a point in the society, I started addressing him differently. *Dressed him to look a little taller, smarter and above all you can sum it up by calling him a lot more posh. Nothing much changed ever since. But wait; thats only until I had to leave for another country. He was the last thing on my mind, when the transition was on. However I trusted my guts that I would find him another day, in another time or place. & Yes how could I ever go wrong with him?

I found him again but this time he changed into something completely inconceivable atleast going by the standards that I was used to, back home in India. Comparisons were inevitable. But my miseries too, looked impossible mostly because they were self made. So I had to find myself a selfmade solution and what could have been better than my long lost friend. # He tasted like fresh morning coffee and looked fairer than chalk. I was living a dream and what more could have I asked for, with my best friend around ? Nothing ? Did you say?

Well God has funny ways of, first making us realize that the things we despise the most are the most essential. Lets say for example "Studies". I mean point me out, that one kid who wished to stay back indoors, learning stupid math tables when he could have gone outisde to breathe some breeze and taste some mud. Now the moment you realise that, God makes you believe you are too old for that now. If you have'nt had a scar all your life...too bad. You are up against a road train now. And all you have is your experience of tables that you learnt by heart and lessons that did not go beyond "the love across the salt dessert".

Now pops the golden question. How good is my friend ? Can he help me face the road train ? Will he help me run faster? Well the truth is problems are puzzles. They are gifts from God. They come in a package deal with life itself. It is for us, to fight the problem and solve the puzzle to learn a new lesson each day. I am not taking away anything from my dear friend. I appreciate his efforts completely and acknowlegde his company all this while. But from here on I will travel stronger and I will travel alone...


"The vagaries of smoking were alien to me, until I smoked !"

3 names I gave my sane friend all these years:

^Wills Navy Cut 2000 - 2002
*Gold Flake 2002 - 2005
#Marlboro Lights 2005 - 2006